Day 21 (September 27, 2010)

I honestly don’t know what is going with Pete. If I knew more, I would tell you. The last I spoke with him was Saturday while he was in class….and nothing since.

Part of this was also me being stubborn and wanting to have the upper hand. I was not going to text him back first when I had sent the last one. Whether or not you like it, dating is a game. It’s important that I felt in control of what was happening. And, honestly, it’s depressing not to get a reply back to your message. So what if he was in class all day Saturday? He didn’t text me back, and didn’t talk to me Sunday. And, I’m fine with holding out to make sure that I don’t become vulnerable or made a fool of.

The text conversation ended anti-climactically, and that was that. I think it’s a pretty big sign that I’m not even close to devastated about it. Honestly, I’m relieved that I didn’t have to tell some great guy that no matter how great he was I wasn’t interested and I couldn’t tell him why.

I knew why. He wasn’t The Ex, he wasn’t The Hottie, and he definitely wasn’t enough to make me forget about either of them. This is my sign with each guy I’ve talked to since the big break-up a year ago. If I still thought about The Ex just as much (and in particular when I was physically with some new guy), then it wouldn’t go anywhere. This was, in my opinion, why I fell so hard for The Hottie (besides the hotness and over-all fantastic qualities). If I didn’t