SO WHAT HAPPENED?!?!

So here's an update on my dating life since the end of my 33 Days...


Grant: I never heard back from him


David: After the last message wanting to check in on me, which I ignored, I haven't heard from him.


Pete: I finally got a message back from him about two weeks ago.  He asked me why I never responded to his last text (which I did...twice), then he got frustrated that neither one of us bothered to see why the other hadn't responded. He ended up making me pretty angry by continuing to argue with me about who sent the last text, so I told him it was ridiculous and useless to be fighting about a text message from over a month before. I told him he was a great guy, but I didn't have that "something extra" to make me want to continue with him. I didn't mention Chris or The Hottie because I had pretty much made up my mind about him before any of that happened. He didn't respond.


The Ex: Luckily, still no contact since the end of June.  Way to go, me.


The Hottie: I'm trying to let go of the idea of him. He ended up coming back from LA after about 5 weeks since they finished their project early.  Then he went to Dallas, now he's in Chicago. I ran into him at a bar two weeks ago, but I could hardly look him in the eyes. I didn't want to think about how I felt about him and I sure as hell didn't want to feel anything else. I had ignored two texts throughout October, which I was proud of myself for doing. He is still with his girlfriend, and I still think about him.  


Chris: We dated for about two months or so, but things didn't work out. We only stopped seeing each other about a week ago or so. When I can give a little better of an explanation as to what happened, I will :o)

There's the end, guys!!

Day 33 (October 9, 2010)

Here's the last day, folks!! Day 33 of my match.com adventures is here...Hope you enjoyed it! Stayed tuned tomorrow to know what (if anything) has changed!!!


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I can hardly believe it’s the last day! I’ve really considered renewing, but I’m going to go with my gut on this and just cancel. I think.

Just in the nick of time, I feel like I’ve met someone who I can actually see myself with. Maybe nothing too serious, maybe something more. I realize that Chris meets…well…none of my “ridiculous criteria,” but I, too, can surprise myself. I knew I’d like him before I met him, but he’s better than I imagined. Even if it doesn’t turn out to be a big thing, I’m enjoying my time with him.

The thing with The Hottie in LA was that, while I instantly felt extremely comfortable with him, it always felt a little bit like a game with us. I don’t know another way to describe it. Maybe he was just a little inconsiderate. Chris seems different than that. Yes, it did take a little while to warm up to him the other night, but now I feel like we can just enjoy each other’s company. I’m trying to not put any emotional pressure on the situation, because I get attached easily.

As for my match.com account, I cancelled it with little peace of mind, but knew it was probably the right move. I didn’t exactly want any new men added to equation for a while, ya know?…


I honestly didn't initiate very much at all, in case you can't tell.  I also ignored quiet a bit of "digital moves" from people who just didn't meet my criteria.  Would I recommend online dating to friends? Absolutely, but only if you're willing to be an active participant (or in my case, an active responder).  It took a lot of time and ended up being kind of stressful given how crazy my schedule is, but I think it's definitely worth trying if you want to date some new people!

Day 32 (October 8, 2010)

All day, I couldn’t stop thinking about Chris. I think I’m most impressed by two things: he’s not cocky/forward and he couldn’t be sweeter. Well, he could be sweeter, but any sweeter would probably turn me off a little. He is the perfect amount of sweetness without that blindingly painful sugar rush. I don’t think I’m into bad boys per se, but I can’t stand a kiss-ass or an asshole. I like that Chris is not over-confident and that he cares that I’m feeling comfortable and that he’s not a douche bag.

 I made my way to the office much later than I should have and BAM! The hangover hit me like a ton of bricks. Either way, it was worth it.

At work, I couldn’t focus (and only partly due to the hangover). I must have looked through the pictures of the night before at least two dozen times. It felt kind of surreal having feelings for yet another guy. 

I ended up telling my mom about him. I wasn’t sure if I would, because I knew there would be concern about the deal-breakers. I told her it would just have to be something I would get over if I were really interested after some time, but that I could. She was more concerned over age than anything else, I think.  My parents just know how badly I don’t want to get hurt in my next relatioship, so I can appreciate their concern.

I have a problem with over analyzing my next “move” in a relationship, especially when it’s first starting out. I don’t ever want to seem too eager, I don’t want to make the guy feel too confident about how I’m feeling, and I absolutely don’t want to leave room to let myself get hurt. I was concerned all day that this would have just ended up being a one-night thing, which I desperately didn’t want.. So I waited for him to make contact…which he did.

We didn’t make plans for the night, but he knew what I was doing and I knew what he was doing. I told him I would be at 51^st Street Speakeasy all night. When he got done with dinner, he could meet me there if he wanted. No pressure.

Lucky for me, he showed up about 11:30. We stay at Speakeasy for a little while, went across the street to Edna’s a little later. Even though we were in the city, Chris brought his roommate and would have to go back to Norman with him. So, I did the only thing logical...I followed them back to Norman (at 1:45 in the morning from the north side of OKC…awesome).

When I got to Chris’ house, I met Princess (his dobie), waited for him to eat a snack and curled up on the couch. A little tipsy and very tired, I was more interested in sleep than anything else. Within minutes, he said the best thing I could hear at that moment in time: “I’m exhausted…let’s just go to bed.” Happily, we curled up and were both asleep within two minutes.

Day 31 (October 7, 2010)

The day of my date with Chris, I worked until about 4:15 p.m. with appointments all day, then started getting ready for the concert. I decided to wear a white tank top, jeans and cowboy boots (seeing as it was a country concert). Chris was supposed to show up around 4:30 to meet at his friend’s apartment before heading to the OKC Zoo.

Around 4:45, he called to let me know that he was stuck in traffic and would be there in ten minutes. The car ride over there was quiet, which was a little awkward. But, it was better than obviously forced conversation. If there was nothing to talk about, we kept quiet. Though the conversation wasn’t exactly natural, the environment was.

We met at his friend’s house, had a drink or two, then carpooled to the zoo. We picked up our free VIP passes, and headed inside.

There was a lot of drinking, a little music, and somewhere in there he kissed me. Once the ice was broken, we were very comfortable together and had a great time.

It was a little weird having our first date be a group-thing with nobody else on a date, we went with it.  Chris only knew the friend with the tickets (not anyone else), and I obviously knew none of them. Most of them assumed we were a couple since they didn't know any better. I think it worked out so we could more or less just focus on each other.

After the concert, we went over to Western and went to one bar I can’t remember the name of and then to Café Nova. I was exhausted and we were both drunk, so we didn’t stay long. We said good-bye to his friends then left in a cab to go back to my apartment…

Day 30 (October 6, 2010)

Chris and I agreed to go out Thursday night after I got out of class at 8:00. We decided to grab a quick bite to eat, then possibly go out after depending on how things were going.  I planned to spend most of the evening cleaning my apartment and relaxing after my ridiculous study binge from the 2 days prior.

That night, though, he called me to ask about a change of plans. His friend was able to get unlimited free VIP passes to Zoo Amp, and the Little Big Town/Sugarland concert was tomorrow night. I wanted to go, but I would have to skip class and leave work a little early the next day in order to go. I decided to make an exception on my perfect attendance for the semester because I was really excited about meeting Chris and the concert sounded like a lot of fun.

Knowing that I wouldn’t have class, I had to finish a paper that would have been finished in class and get in turned in the next afternoon when a “family emergency” would unexpectedly happen (oops). Therefore, I ended up staying up until about midnight and set an alarm for 4:00 am.

I guess I was really excited about the date because I wasn’t able to fall asleep easily or stay asleep all night (well, for four hours). After pulling an all-nighter on Monday and drinking late on Tuesday, I knew I would be exhausted after the concert the next night.

Day 29 (October 5, 2010)

The hardest part about online dating is that it keeps you a lot busier than you’d expect (not unlike NoBloPoMo). There have definitely been days where I haven’t been able to fully take advantage of this month, and this was one of them!

I had a midterm at 6:00, so I was up very late the night before and I wasn’t focused at work. This was a straight essay memorization midterm over about 200 pages of reading over the past 7 weeks of class. I was so worried about it that I was still studying on my car ride down to Norman.

I thought I did pretty well (guessed a low-A, made a 99), but I ended up writing 14 typed pages in 3 hours. Then, I practiced my weekly ritual of post-class drinks with Alex. We definitely partook after that test!

Day 28 (October 4, 2010)

What do you do when you your ex who you may or may be falling in love with and who you may or may not be talking to again moves to LA for three months?

Simple, really.

First, you should have a panic attack right before the flight takes off while driving down 2^nd Street in Edmond. Then you should agree to go on a date with a much older and much more divorced man in order to get your mind off of things.

I really have no idea what is going on with The Hottie. Yes, we had the big serious talk last week. Yes, we’ve talked every day but one since then, but I’m dealing with a really sticky situation. I’m putting my heart on the line in hopes that he will take action, decide to end things and break up with his girlfriend. No matter what feelings we’ve talked about having for one another, if that puzzle piece is still missing there are no guarantees. I feel like I’m being absolutely as realistic as possible, given that I’m an emotional disaster.

So I decided to go out with Chris. I mean, he was interested, I was interested and (frankly) I was running out of days. Why else would I join a dating site if I weren’t interested in dating? No, I didn’t think I’d find the love of my life there, but at least I would have made things a bit more interesting. As an added benefit, I reckoned I would get my mind off of The Ex and The Hottie…I was at least successful at one of the two. Maybe I’d meet someone cool, or great, or even amazing. I’m a skeptic, but who knows.

The thing is…I am absolutely more nervous about this date than the others. If the others sucked (as that one did), I just had to get through a couple of hours of niceties/torture and it would be over. If I fell for them, then that would be great. With the others I was worried that things would go badly. With this one, I’m nervous that it will go very, very well. There are some big issues here that I’m not used to dealing with. The age is a factor, but I’m terrified about the divorced part. I will have to know more without being pushy about it. I’m scared that if I develop feelings for this guy and later find out some of the reasons they were divorced, I would be in a situation where I may want to be with someone but know that I never really could.

At least I can stress about something else other than The Hottie In LA. I’m changing his name so that I can remember the truth.

Day 27 (October 3, 2010)

Here's my first day continuing the series AFTER November is over...but alas! How does the story end? You'll find out soon :o)...

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Back in Oklahoma, I was sad. I didn’t want The Hottie to leave…and I didn’t want to lose something I never really had. I called him to say goodbye, we small-talked for a few minutes, then moped around most of the night wishing I could either get over him or be with him.

I’d hope that I could maybe start to feel nothing for him. Honestly, that would be easier. I figure I could either spend the next three months being single and hoping that things would work out between The Hottie and I, but that depended on so many things going the right way for me. First, he would have to come back and not stay there. He’d also have to dump his girlfriend, follow through on he and I, not manage to piss me off in the process, and I couldn’t be talking to or dating anyone when he got back. Odds aren’t in my favor, but maybe it’s worth the gamble.

Or, I could do whatever and try to forget about him. I could date (or not) and focus on how to ensure my happiness with or without him.

At the end of the night, I was emotionally exhausted and completely confused. I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do given what I had (read that again…kind of confusing).

Day 26 (October 2, 2010)

BOOMER SOONER!!!! TEXAS SUCKS!!! No worries about boys today. I was drunk, in oblivion from the win, and enjoying my early- to mid-twenties with my awesome friends. I also looked like I hadn’t slept in months and that I had been binge drinking for days. I told Chris we would have to make plans for after the weekend…I didn’t want to set any first impression with any guy looking like that!!

Day 25 (October 1, 2010)

The Friday of OU/TX!! Over the past week or so I’ve only been on match.com once a day to check my emails and browse quickly. I’ve been so busy and so confused about Pete/The Hottie/what the hell I’m doing that I haven’t really wanted to make anything more complicated.

The plan for this weekend was to hang out with friends Friday, meet up with The Hottie in the West End, and watch the game with a big group of friends on Saturday.

I checked into my email on match that morning, and had another message from the “deal-breaker” guy (go back to Day 20), whose name is Chris. He mentioned that if I wanted we could meet up Saturday night after the game in Dallas (we had already hashed out that we would both be in Dallas for the game). He gave me his phone number in case I was interested. 

Figuring I had nothing to lose, I texted him my number. We texted back and forth that afternoon while we were both at work and throughout the drive there.

Though we got on the road later than expected, Kirsten, Preston and I got to Dallas around 7:00, checked into our hotel and went to dinner at Hacienda (yummo queso blanco).

Considering we had an hour-long wait for a table, I checked facebook on my phone. The Hottie’s status came up: “Dallas is a no-go. Decided to stay here for my last weekend in OK.” My heart sank, and I was angry. I sent him a snarky-but-not-too-bitchy text about not coming so that I would feel better about not getting to see him again. Then, I decided to just have a great time with my friends.

Day 24 (September 30, 2010)

Seeing how The Hottie is a magician, I’ve tried to disengage today. I felt like it was the right thing to do and to keep me level-headed.

Oh…I hadn’t mentioned the magician part? Hmmm. How should I explain this?

Maybe a wizard is a better term.

Let’s work on the terminology.

He can turn an overly rational Type-A young woman into a swooning, emotional and irrational girl. (Magic qualities).

He is unrealistically “too good to be true.”

He makes this one overly critical girl experience the closest thing to love-at-first-sight.

He can disappear and reappear into your life at the most unexpected times.

How I see it is that there must be some sort of spell involved because I can’t seem to get enough of his delicious elixir, even when he mixes it up and it becomes bitter tasting and harsh.

I absolutely realize that I am putting my emotional well-being on the line, that I could end up very, very hurt and  that I am making the most irrational decision I possible could (unless I were to get back together with The Ex on a cold day in hell….that would be more irrational). I never considered that I was the “romantic” type, but I am with The Hottie.

Day 23 (September 29, 2010)

I woke up on The Hottie's floor after only 2 hours of sleep in a fog of a whiskey hangover. I grabbed my shoes and left, knowing I would need to get back home, change, fix my hair and makeup and be back on the road in about 30 minutes. On my way to the office, I called my mom and told her what happened. I was in a bad state of emotion after The Hottie and I’s conversation only a few hours prior. My feelings for him were definite and in full swing. My hopes were up that he would leave his girlfriend and realize what he’d been missing with me. I kept trying to hold back, but there was nothing he said or did that set off a red flag to be cautious and not get attached. The chemistry between has always been strong, but now it was undeniably strong. The guilt of having this relationship with someone and having them in a cheating position made me feel horrible, but I felt like it was the absolute right thing for me to do. My feelings for him were stronger than ever. But, I knew what I wanted and I was willing to wait a little bit. I wanted him. I’d wanted him since the night we met. I was only scared that the situation wouldn’t be “too good,” but “too good to be true” and I’d end up hurt. Again.

The hangover was miserable at work…bad enough not to be able to finish my breakfast. After a 9:00 meeting, I left the office to go work at home in sweatpants with a blanket and a tall glass of water. Withing 5 minutes of me walking in the door, I got a text from The Hottie: “Hows work?? How are you feeling? :/”

He was thinking about me.

Nothing else very interesting today happened. I texted back and forth with The Hottie until bedtime (at 8:30 because I was so exhausted). Got an email from David wanting to check in (which I ignored…I didn’t join a match.com to make friends). Still no conversation with Pete (I’m ridiculously blasé about this…maybe I’m not all that interested as I thought I was…).

Day 22 (September 28, 2010)

Considering I’ve completely devoted myself to the entire subscription financially and bloggishly (awesome word choice there, graduate school student), I figure I should also be honest about how I’m feeling about the whole thing.

First, I’ve come to the realization that unless I am absolutely enamored with someone, being in a relationship is not worth my time and energy. Being with someone that I’m only feeling 80 percent of the time (not literally, dirty minds) is not worth cutting into my wonderful life and my time with my wonderful friends who have been such a strong support to get me back on my feet.

I always knew that “safe” relationships weren’t my thing. I knew I wouldn’t want to settle for anything less than incredible and passionate and punch-drunk love. This is part of the reason why I am so picky…I don’t think there’s anything wrong with putting it out there that I am not looking for a casual relationship but that I am seeking a partner for the rest of my life. I don’t want to rush a relationship at all, but I’m not interested in sharing my life with someone who I feel is only temporary situation.

Maybe I don’t need this match.com thing. Maybe I don’t want a straightforward and safe approach to dating. Yes, the platform has its benefits, such as the “what you see is what you get” survey questions to weed out any deal-breakers. Seeing Pete is nice and all, but I don’t see it being a forever sort of relationship (given that he reappears in the picture) at this point in time and I don’t want to waste my time trying to see a glimmer of hope. I’m usually a very good judge about how I feel about people. Initial impressions are nearly impossible to correct if they’re bad. (note: I know this may not be the best outlook, but that is how I am and I’ve come to terms with the reality of the situation, though I see the weaknesses in this approach….grad school bleeding through my writing again...must explain everything in full detail!!!)

I also haven’t felt right seeing Pete when my mind has been on The Hottie leaving for LA this weekend. We’d been maintaining contact over the last month or so after a cooling-off period for me when he got in this new relationship. I knew we both wanted to see each other one last time before he left forever.

I had left a watch and necklace at his house back from when we were dating. One way or another, I wanted the necklace back. We planned for me to drop by late tonight after finishing a paper to pick it up and say toodle-loo. No big deal right? Wrong. I could not seem to lock it up all day at work. My mind was on him and my emotions were running rampant. I knew it would be tough to see him. I knew it would harder to say good-bye, knowing it may be the last time I ever saw the guy I had fallen completely head over heels for.

More than anything, I was most frustrated that I was “that” girl. You know…the girl who could not get over this incredible guy…who broke my heart…who has a girlfriend…who is moving to LA in 5 days. Whenever I can’t put my mind over my heart, I know it’s real. My heart was winning this one.

I finished the paper at 8:59, freaked out for about 20 minutes or so knowing that I was about to go see him, then hopped in the car.

I stopped by his to pick up my necklace after touching up my tear-stained makeup at the McDonald’s a mile from his house. I didn’t see his car, but maybe it was in the garage. I rang the doorbell and waited for a good 2 minutes. His roommate Casey finally opened the door, said The Hottie wasn’t there and let me in. I called The Hottie, but he didn’t answer. Stood up. I was furious, but figured it may be for the best. Casey showed me where the necklace should be, I found it and I was on my merry way.

Two minutes later, The Hottie called me back. He said he didn’t expect me so soon and felt terrible that he missed me. He told me to come back in about 15 minutes, if I wanted, and he would be there. He really wanted to see me and I could tell he was worried he’d missed an opportunity to say good-bye. I told him I would run to the store and come back. He wanted to have a couple of people over, so I assumed that would force me to keep it casual.

Back at his house, he was opening up a bottle of Maker’s Mark and hanging out with another one of his roommates. Things were a little awkward, but 2 drinks and 20 minutes later everything was comfortable. We were having some good conversations and I couldn’t help but remember how easy things were between us. Nothing had changed. After a while he dropped a bombshell…the best bombshell I’d ever heard. He was only going to LA on a 3-month contract and could very likely come back to Oklahoma in January. It could be a permanent move, but for now it was temporary. This was great for my interest in him, but terrible for my desire to move on from him. I’d pick the former any day.

Between 4 people that night, we killed the entire bottle of Maker’s Mark. We were all sufficiently drunk (on a Tuesday) and I hadn’t slept but 3 hours the night before. We were all dancing and laughing. The Hottie and I were flirting and joking. He kept picking me up under my butt with his arms to hug me…something he always did that drove me the best kind of crazy. He liked doing this because I could then see eye-to-eye with him (he’s 6’4”) and because he had a thing for my bootie…a lot. It. Was. Awesome. Of course I still had feelings for him, and none of that was letting up at this point. I wanted to stay guarded and not get my hopes up, but they were there that something would happen.

About 4:00 in the morning, I was reasonably sober and exhausted, so I decided I would leave. The Hottie walked me downstairs, holding my hand. The next 20 minutes or so was a blur, but it went something like this. He was hugging me with his arms around the small of my back so that I would have to stay close and would have to arch my back to look at the adorable face, my arms were around his neck. Again, we stayed like this for 20 minutes. Conversation fog included the following.

Him: It was so good to see you.

Him: You are so damn sexy…and it’s confusing me about what I should do

Me: I have to be honest with you…I don’t want you to go.

Me I still have feelings for you, which is a problem. I’m “that” girl who fell for this amazing guy. He broke my heart, but the feelings didn’t go anywhere. He has a girlfriend. He’s moving to LA

Him: I feel like such an asshole.  I’m so thankful you don’t hate me for that shit I pulled this summer…I miss you. I’m sorry about this summer. I’m sorry about missing you earlier tonight. I’m sorry I’m leaving. I’m sorry about everything.

Him: I’m not worth it…I’ve messed with you too many times and you deserve better.

Me: You ARE worth it and I can’t just ignore how I feel about you. You make me think completely irrationally, but you are absolutely amazing…and I don’t want to see you go. What if I never see you again?

Him: You’ll see me again. I’ll be back in 3 months.

Me: Maybe you’ll be back.

Him: I’ll be back.

Him: Will you see me this weekend in Dallas?

Me: Of course.

Him: I don’t want you to go…I’m worried about you driving home. Promise you’ll text me when you get there.

Me: Okay, I promise.

Him: Promise!

Me: I promise.

Him: Okay…see ya Friday, hopefully.

(5 second pause)

Me: Bye, (Insert Name Here)

Now, this is really awkward to explain. The nature of conversation was…risky. He has a girlfriend, remember. Not my usual standard of ethical behavior. Amidst all of this conversation in the seemingly painful hugging embrace, somehow that "line" didn't cross. I could hear his heart beating and I wanted to fall asleep right then and there. Our hands were lingering, but never once did we kiss on the lips or move too far. We were close…too close…but that’s a line we knew better than to cross tonight. Honest to goodness, this was probably the most intimate and real conversations of my life. It felt like something out of a movie. It was also one of the most painful conversations I’ve ever had. I was going places in conversation with him that I never thought I would go. I felt like I was falling in love with a man in a relationship who was moving away in 5 days….and all I wanted to do was cry.

I didn’t drive home, but I didn’t sleep with him either. I was just too tired and I would have only gotten two hours of sleep anyway. I was sleeping on the floor and I could hear that he was as restless getting to sleep as I was.

Day 21 (September 27, 2010)

I honestly don’t know what is going with Pete. If I knew more, I would tell you. The last I spoke with him was Saturday while he was in class….and nothing since.

Part of this was also me being stubborn and wanting to have the upper hand. I was not going to text him back first when I had sent the last one. Whether or not you like it, dating is a game. It’s important that I felt in control of what was happening. And, honestly, it’s depressing not to get a reply back to your message. So what if he was in class all day Saturday? He didn’t text me back, and didn’t talk to me Sunday. And, I’m fine with holding out to make sure that I don’t become vulnerable or made a fool of.

The text conversation ended anti-climactically, and that was that. I think it’s a pretty big sign that I’m not even close to devastated about it. Honestly, I’m relieved that I didn’t have to tell some great guy that no matter how great he was I wasn’t interested and I couldn’t tell him why.

I knew why. He wasn’t The Ex, he wasn’t The Hottie, and he definitely wasn’t enough to make me forget about either of them. This is my sign with each guy I’ve talked to since the big break-up a year ago. If I still thought about The Ex just as much (and in particular when I was physically with some new guy), then it wouldn’t go anywhere. This was, in my opinion, why I fell so hard for The Hottie (besides the hotness and over-all fantastic qualities). If I didn’t 

Day 20 (September 26, 2010)

I can’t say that anything interesting at all has been happening in the online dating world. I’m still picky. I’m still talking to Pete. I’m still not interested in 99.9% of the breathing men on this planet.

I haven’t seen Pete in several days, but he and I have both had a ton going on. He took a weekend speed course this weekend and has had zero time for fun. I’ve basically been spending my time laying around and writing the first 10 pages of my term thesis paper (due Tuesday by 9 p.m.).

I did, however, send a reply message to the only attractive and normal person I’ve found on there in the last week. I sent it back, knowing that on his profile was a bombshell that I would normally consider to be a deal-breaker. Maybe I was bored, maybe I wanted something scary or a little exciting. Maybe I wanted something that wasn’t like any other guy I’d dated. Anyway, I broke the deal-breaker. Does that say something? I didn’t break a “looks” deal-breaker. I didn’t break a height breaker (even though that’s one I just can’t seem to get over….). I didn’t break a religion deal-breaker or an age deal-breaker or any other normal breaker.

So what was it that let go of that was so not like me?

Wait for it. He's divorced. Sometimes, I surprise myself. 

Day 19 (September 25, 2010)

It’s football time in Oklahoma!!!! Well, not really.  It’s away game time in Oklahoma. Pete was in class all weekend, so I really didn’t hear from him much. I got some good old fashioned me-time in and spent the whole day relaxing with Kirsten and Brad while watching football chez moi.

Day 18 (September 24, 2010)

Seeing as Pete was off work today to study and in class all night then all weekend, I knew I could enjoy some time with Kirsten and some other friends. We had a mini shopping spree, then went to Libby’s in Goldsby to see Preston’s cousin’s band play. We had great time, but by 4 a.m. I was pooped. Brad and I stayed at Tracy’s (with Tracy) and it was a lovely night all around.

Day 17 (September 23, 2010)

Nothing interesting going on with men, but I did talk to Kirsten about Pete.  I told her I liked him enough to see him, but that I didn’t think that I was crazy about him. I really feel like unless you are extraordinaly passionate about someone, it’s not really worth putting the energy into.  I lost interest in Grant, I lost interest in David, and I was quickly losing interest in Pete. Is this my fate with dating men casually? That I get interested quickly and lose interest just as quickly? I didn’t want to be that kind of girl. It’s a roller-coaster and it’s annoying to everyone involved (including myself).

I decided to wait things out with Pete.  I wanted to give him a chance if he was as into me as he seemed.  I thought that maybe I was just psyching myself out so that I wouldn’t get hurt (again)...maybe to protect myself. Whatever the case, I let myself focus on myself and friends for the upcoming weekend while Pete took care of some school stuff.

Day 16 (September 22, 2010)

I felt awful the next day, but I had to go to work. I had no energy, got not enough sleep and I was still coughing a lot. 

Pete and I continued texting throughout the day, but not as frequently as usual. To be honest, it was just the right amount, because he could get excessive. He told me he had a “blah” day at work too…but maybe it was just that his immune system was fighting off getting sick from kissing me.

Day 15 (September 21, 2010)

I realized that with all of business with Pete, getting sick, and being busier than I ever had been that I completely blew off Grant. I felt kind of bad, but figured it maybe wasn’t that big of a deal. I honestly don’t have time to write 20-minute emails everyday. He had wanted to meet up with me at the game (where I got sick), but I didn’t get the message until Sunday. Then I got sick. Then I got busy. He never responded, so I guess that’s that.

I went to work in the morning but left around 10:30. All the guys thought I sounded terrible and they didn’t want to get sick, so that ended up being a bigger motivator than how I felt to leave and go home. I obviously could not see or talk to any clients, so I went to bed.

Even though I wasn’t planning on seeing Pete today, he asked if we could go out for some coffee after class. I could have really used some tea (even though I was in sweats with hardly any makeup), so I agreed. I met him in Bricktown after class, got our warm beverages and walked around.

Pete made me feel very comfortable, except for one thing. Kissing in public.  I am not opposed to kissing when the mood is right, and I’ve definitely had my drunken street corner make out, but I am absolutely not into kissing fervently on the street corner when I’m sick (he didn’t care if he got sick, apparently) and sober. I didn’t know the best way to tell him this, but I did let him know we should find someplace (not around people) to sit down.

We sat, talked and kissed for about an hour or so…the conversation flowed, the kissing was still excessive (and I wasn’t ready for things to move beyond that either, so I needed to keep a check on myself), but he was clearly interested in me. I could tell that I wasn’t certain, though I did have some feelings for him.

Around 10:30, I told him that I had to go. He walked me to my car and off I went.