I forgot how disgusting my apartment is in the summer.
You see, I live on the first floor in a very old house. Last summer, when I moved in, I had to deal with lots of bugs (including a fly infestation in my bathroom which was traumatizing).
Daddy long legs, cockroaches, water beatles (look just like cockroaches, only wider), flies &....the Mack Daddy...spider crickets.
I've told some of you about spider crickets (google image search with caution), but these things are FREAKING SCARY. I honestly didn't know what they were (thought spider cricket was a made up name). Are they spiders? Are they crickets? CAN THEY KILL ME? They are big and fat and have looooong spider-y legs.....and they jump really really high. I'm terrified of spiders, & these things jump. One of the most terrifying creatures I've ever encountered.
Tonight, while trying to fall asleep, I reached over my nightstand to turn off the light. SPIDER CRICKET LESS THAN A FOOT AWAY. I squeeled, jumped, shivered, then ran to get killing device (& camera). See list below for more info.
In the 15 seconds it took to get my weapon & my camera, the sucker moved onto the fabric/side of the table. Do you see it?! I know, the black fabric makes it difficult.
They're really difficult to destroy, but I've figured out a solution: September Vogue. Has anyone seen The September Issue? If you have, then you know that September is the beginning of fashion season, so September is always a big issue...more than an inch thick. How useful.
How to Kill a Spider Cricket
- Position yourself atop nearby furniture (bed, chair, bookcase...). Give yourself some height and protection from this devil creature.
- Drop September Vogue on creepy crawly.
- Jump on magazine, just to be safe.
- Walk around the magazine for 2-3 days, pretending like it's not there with a bug squished between it and the floor.
- Muster up the nerve to move the magazine.
- Rip off the back 2-3 pages & discard.
- Clean floor with bleach, etc.
Works like a charm every time. However, I'm such an expert now that my September Vogue is missing a good 30+ pages. Still worth it. In this case I first used the magazine to brush the spider cricket onto the floor so that (a) I wouldn't miss (b) I wouldn't break/ruin my fragile nightstand (c) I could properly follow through on Step #4 of How to Kill a Spider Cricket.
I really do not want to live another summer in this apartment, as much as I love it :o/
P.S. Sorry if you think all creatures are nature's gift or something like that. If a bug (read: not top of the food chain) enters my residence (read: top of the food chain/more resourceful/bigger), if will probably die. Some live & are just displaced outside, but most die.
That magazine ain't goin' nowhere for at least 48 hours. Thanks, Charlize!