After feeling overwhelmingly bummed the last few days, things got worse.
I'm sure that you're thinking "this is the happ(ier) post from the last one." No worries. I'm getting to that.
I'm not going to lie, 2 nights ago was one of the worst nights of my life. This included the tough nights in France. I felt like my anxiety trapped me in and I couldn't escape. Luckily, my "survival instinct" (no, I didn't think I was going to die) was stronger than the adrenaline (that was making everything worse).
I swear this will end up being a happy post!!
First, I watched this video on YouTube. I recommend it for anyone with anxiety issues or that has had panic attacks. If that's not a problem for you, this guy won't be beneficial at all.
I had never noticed how harmful daydreaming could be for someone like me, but he's right about it turning into negative thoughts. Sadly, I love to daydream, particularly when I'm driving. (I should get books on tape to help).
-I don't let myself have enough fun. Once I got serious about doing well in school, I nearly obsessed over it. I'm only 22. I should be having fun.-I am a work first play later person, but right now I can afford to play first and work later. I am really going to work hard to do this.
3. Ask myself: How do each of my actions affect other people?
4. Be ambitious again.
5. Always show my appreciation to others.
6. Be strong and independent.
-BTW I don't want to be overly independent. I just don't want to be codependent on others.7. Pay more attention to my presence and my body language. Smile more.
-My relaxed face makes me look mean, unapproachable, and bitchy. I see it too, but I am none of those things! It is horribly frustrating.
-I get tired easily. There is no need to let people know that I am exhausted all of the time.
-Also, I get very frustrated with myself when I can't socialize (or STOP socializing) just because I am tired when it's only 10:00. Again, I need to have more fun!!!
-I have a good life. I complain so much about little tiny things that really mean nothing! So, I guess this also falls under "Be more positive and optimistic."
-Everyday. All the time. Make changes to the things I can change (such as all 9 goals listed above...). Love what makes me me (except I don't love my naturally curly hair, in case you hadn't noticed. Thus, I love my Chi.).
1. Say please and thank you.
2. Don't be afraid to meet new people.
3. Be more patient.
4. Be okay hanging out with only the company of myself.
5. Listen more. Talk less.
6. Build myself esteem (this, I think, is from where all of the other crap stems)
***some of the others are variations of my goals, so I'll leave them out!
Alas, I ended up at one of my favorite websites.
At Porte de Saint Cloud there is this cute crisp studio. 49 square ft and 800 euro a month. YOWZAH!
And, just for grins, if you cared to have la tour Eiffel RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR TERRACE, you can have 213 sq ft and pay only 5000 euro a month. (But, holy cow!)
With a view like that, I would have a soaker tub in the living room also!
VIVE LA FRANCE!