Lesson Learned?

Today I learned a lesson. Actually, I learned several. Scratch that. Today, I should have learned several lessons....but it is unlikely I will move these from the "ACTIVE" pile to the "FILE" pile (rhymes).

Last night, I drank....I'm not huge on bragging about how much I drink. It's tacky, and it's not a competition. In my case, I just embarrass myself because >2drinks+me=wastyface.

I had 7 shots and a mug of wine. Yes, a mug. CLASSY.

There. I bragged. Now I am left with a sour taste left in my mouth from doing exactly what I said don't like to do (or is that sour taste leftover vom? jk. that's gross).

Lesson 1: Don't drink more than you should.

Lesson 2: Don't mix mediums

I got home around 4:00. Atypical for me. I prefer in bed at 10, asleep at 11 after The Daily Show & Colbert Report. I didn't go to sleep until 6:30. Why is not important. All you need to know is that wasteyface was still drunk and awake when the sun was rising. (Shhh! It was worth it!)

Lesson 3: Don't be awake for 23 hours straight.

Then, wonder of wonders...I rose at 8:30 am. Sometimes (aka every time I drink) my body likes to wake me up as soon as I am sober. It is then impossible to fall back asleep due to 1) sunlight 2) adrenaline as my blood sugar drops 3) nauseau 4) morning after digestive consequences. I could not for the life of me fall back asleep.

So, to nurse my hangover and get things done, I decided to paint.

Lesson 4: Paint fumes do not cure hangovers.

Then again, all of the paint supplies were out (I had one last section in the kitchen to finish, and I decided to paint my closet...I'm so weird) so it only made sense to finish painting so that I could put everything away. There was the paint of course, but also all of the contents of my closet in the bedroom and of my cupboards in the kitchen. Big mess.

Lesson 5: Don't embark on an optional and timely project the night after challenging yourself to Beerfest 2010.

Lesson 6: Clean your place before you go out drinking.

I hate messes. I hate them. They stress me out. They put me in a grumpy mood. If my place is a mess, I want it to be clean. Typically I would clean it UNLESS I am hungover. I don't want to deal with it.

Around 5:00 tonight I decided that walking around in only my underwear covered in paint (Why ruin clothes with paint?) for the last 8 hours was looking a little sad and a lot unattractive. The hangover was really bad. I decided to get in the shower....ahhhhhhh.

Lesson 7: If the shower works, stay in. Run up the water bill.

It was the best shower of my life! I felt refreshed and clean and I no longer felt hungover! Magic!

10 minutes later, hangover symptoms return. Why, oh why would I think I should get out of the magic shower?

After swearing to myself that I will never drink again (false), that I will always remember to drink water before passing out from intoxication (false), that I will not stay up until 6:30 in the morning (false), that I will not make impulsive and timely decorating decision (FALSE!!!) and that I will never again waste a full day do nothing truly productive (false), I've realized that I will do all of these things again.

So much for my lessons learned.

Sidebar: Every time I make a list like this, I consider making it beautiful with lovely paper and fun little doodads put into frames and having all of my rules for living plastered throughout my apartment disguised as decoration. I am so good at living life on the edge.