Saturday, November 27, 2010

Day 23 (September 29, 2010)

I woke up on The Hottie's floor after only 2 hours of sleep in a fog of a whiskey hangover. I grabbed my shoes and left, knowing I would need to get back home, change, fix my hair and makeup and be back on the road in about 30 minutes. On my way to the office, I called my mom and told her what happened. I was in a bad state of emotion after The Hottie and I’s conversation only a few hours prior. My feelings for him were definite and in full swing. My hopes were up that he would leave his girlfriend and realize what he’d been missing with me. I kept trying to hold back, but there was nothing he said or did that set off a red flag to be cautious and not get attached. The chemistry between has always been strong, but now it was undeniably strong. The guilt of having this relationship with someone and having them in a cheating position made me feel horrible, but I felt like it was the absolute right thing for me to do. My feelings for him were stronger than ever. But, I knew what I wanted and I was willing to wait a little bit. I wanted him. I’d wanted him since the night we met. I was only scared that the situation wouldn’t be “too good,” but “too good to be true” and I’d end up hurt. Again.

The hangover was miserable at work…bad enough not to be able to finish my breakfast. After a 9:00 meeting, I left the office to go work at home in sweatpants with a blanket and a tall glass of water. Withing 5 minutes of me walking in the door, I got a text from The Hottie: “Hows work?? How are you feeling? :/”

He was thinking about me.

Nothing else very interesting today happened. I texted back and forth with The Hottie until bedtime (at 8:30 because I was so exhausted). Got an email from David wanting to check in (which I ignored…I didn’t join a to make friends). Still no conversation with Pete (I’m ridiculously blasé about this…maybe I’m not all that interested as I thought I was…).

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